Sometimes when we flail, fight and resist, we only sink deeper, perhaps even drown in our unwanted reality.
The rock and river are very different and they still find a way to coexist. The same is true for us in our relationships.
Calming our emotions and looking deeply, we can become aware of our feelings and of whatever misperceptions we might have that could prevent us from hearing and understanding the other person.
Sometimes we have the impression that someone intentionally wants to make us suffer. Believing this, we can get very angry.
We practice Shamatha to slow down our agitated mind and gain stability. When we offer our mind a chance to calm down, we are offering ourselves a chance to observe and understand our inner workings.
It is important to breathe before speaking in an emotional or tense situation.